Kumar Ketkar: Back to Future—Spectre of 2069!

Addressing the National Executive meeting of the BJP, Amit Shah said that not only the victory in 2019 is certain, the party will decimate the Congress totally and vanquish the so-called “Mahagatbandhan”! Then like oracle, he proclaimed that the BJP will rule for next 50 years. That is at least till the year 2069!

But this is not a new prediction. According to the ardent “Bhakts” of Narendra Modi, Nostradamus had predicted 500 years ago, that he would become the Prime Minister of India. India will then rise to great glory. Once Modi becomes PM, apparently prophesied the legendary French philosopher, India will have not just “Acche Din” but fantastic “din”! Amit Shah did not quote Nostradamus, but went on to see his own crystal ball.

The entire leadership of the party, gathered in Delhi to the war cry for the campaign for 2019, was thrilled by Shah’s prediction. They could not visualise themselves to be in Hastinapur in 2069. But they could believe that Modi and Shah were immortal and could keep winning elections till 2069. They are not power hungry and will take “sanyas”, that year. They will renounce all worldly pleasures! But what about the other mortal BJP MPs? However, they felt relieved that in 2069, there would be no Gandhi-Nehru dynasty. That biggest hurdle to the Hindu Rashtra will have been long gone. Sri Sri Guru Golwalkar will be the “Rashtrapita”. The geography of the region will have undergone major changes. “Akhand Bharat” with Afghanistan, Myanmar, Sri Lanka, Nepal will have merged in the “New Hindustan”. There would be no Pakistan. The question of sending Muslims in India to Pakistan would not arise. They would either have migrated to some Arab countries or be dead. “Akhand Bharat” would be the world leader.

China will be reduced to a secondary power and US will have disintegrated like the USSR did in 1991. Donald Trump was the last President of the United States. He had reversed everything Abraham Lincoln had achieved. The country was divided into the North and the South. Trump’s efforts to restart the slavery system had succeeded but led to Civil War! Modi and Mohan Bhagwat had advised Trump to follow Manu Smriti instead of American Constitution, but he refused. India, on the other hand had reclaimed its ancient glory, thanks to Manu Smriti.

But all that was rather a distant future and some sceptics raised questions after the eloquent futurist speech of Shah. Those sceptics were invited to the 36th chamber of “ Shahlin “.In that chamber, there were ways to silence the sceptics. Even sceptics of the stature of LK Advani and Murli Manohar Joshi were silenced. So those doubting Thomases were also convinced of Modi-Shah’s strategy of eternal rule! Particularly after the sceptics were shown files of the Enforcement Directorate, IT and CBI.

So they realised that 50 years from now, Amit Shah will be 104-years-old and still as energetic as in 2018. (Sceptics will have retired from politics or jailed or dead) Shah was born on October 22, 1964. Narendra Modi would be 117 in 2069. But there is a slight dispute about his birthdate. According to his election affidavit, he was born on September 17, 1950, but some other biographers say he was born in 1949.

The sceptics who were not convinced after the meeting said that the futurist scenario painted by Shah did not take into account the future of the RSS, and of Mohan Bhagwat, who actually began the process of creating a Hindu Rashtra. Bhagwat had appealed from Chicago in 2018 that the Hindus of the world must unite. The impact of his speech was such that all the Indian Hindus in the US and in many other countries got united.

The initiative for that unity of the Hindus was taken by those thousands of software engineers who went to the US during the nineties. The management courses, started in the IIMs, set up by Pandit Nehru, had changed the syllabus to incorporate courses in Vedic HRD, ancient space logistics and Baba Ramdev’s yoga. There were regular tours to Moon, Mars, Venus and Brihaspati-Guru.

This Universal Space travel programme was started by Narendra Modi in 2018. NASA was now an Indo-American space research institution, named as Deen Dayal Upadhyaya Vishwa Avkash Kendra. unite.

JNU was renamed in 2019, soon after the Congress was permanently demolished, as Atal Behari Vajpayee Vidyapeeth of Eminence (ABVVE). ABVVE had become a global university, eclipsing Harvard, Stanford and Yale. In fact, Yale University was renamed as Smriti Vidyapeeth, because Smriti Irani had studied there many years ago. Native Americans were now re-identified as ancient Indians. This is how the process of disintegration of the US began.

Despite all these monumental achievements under the Modi-Shah rule of 55 years, some wanted to know, will there be a conflict and power struggle between Bhagwat and Modi? Will the RSS and the Modi-Shah-Doval clique be able to work as one team? But then, the sceptics were firmly told that the RSS would be dissolved and Bhagwat will be irrelevant. Arun Jaitley, Piyush Goyal, Sushma Swaraj, Nirmala Sitharaman, Rajnath Singh and Nitin Gadkari will be in the new Margadarshak Mandal. But then some rebellious sceptics raised other questions.

The Margadarshak Mandal had proposed to build two statues, that of Modi and Shah, one in the liberated Pak-occupied Kashmir and the other near Ram Setu in the ocean linking India and Sri Lanka. These statues will be taller than that of Vallabhbhai Patel, which itself was taller than the Statue of Liberty and Shivaji Maharaj Statue in the Arabian Sea. (By the way the Arabian Sea was named as Hedgewar Hindu Mahadagar).

Thus, by 2069, the world will have transformed so completely that Gandhiji would not even recognise the country which achieved Independence in 1947. That was of course the partial Independence. Therefore, Rashtrapita Gandhiji’s 200th birth anniversary will not be celebrated. Narendra Modi will be known, by ordinance, as “Akhand Hindustan Pita”. There will be no statue for Bhagwat in India. It will be erected in Chicago.

Valmiki wrote Ramayana before Ram actually arrived on the scene. Valmiki was a criminal-robber before becoming the great poet. That also proved to be a perfect and divine coincidence in history when Modi and Shah jointly scripted the “Narendrayana”.

This is a story and history of the next fifty years, which will be now part of the history text books. Not only geography of the world will have changed, but also history and even the Glimpses of World History, which will be freshly written by two Maharshis of the twenty-first century, Narendra Modi and Amit Shah.

So tighten your belts as you enter this Time Machine and begin the great journey to 2069. We will complete the journey in just eight months. So relax and enjoy the magnificent adventure which was started as a small step by launching the Mumbai-Ahmedabad Bullet train in 2019.

Jai Shri Ram!

The author is a veteran editor and Congress Rajya Sabha MP