I sell dreams on the footpath

A poem written by Harivansh Rai Bachhan, father of Amitabh Bachchan – Aa Rahi Ravi Ki Sawari – proved to be a turning point in my life.

I was hardly seven-years-old when I read this poem, but I remember the magic it created in my mind. That triggered my unending romance with Hindi literature. At that time, I did not fully understand the importance of literature or the role that it plays in our life, but I kept on reading stories and poems.

Literature provoked in me the need to change the world and my attachment with the world of literature only grew intense when I was in high school. By the age of 15, I had finished reading almost all famous stories written by Premchand and other Hindi writers. I was certain by then, I would be around books all my life.

Books opened doors of another world in front of me. If literature gave me a reason to live, books provided the means. Despite the lack of resources and availability of new magazines or books in my hometown at Siwan in Bihar, I read whatever I could lay my lands on.

My love affair with the world of literature received a jolt when I was told to get married at the age of 16. He currently works with Dainik Jagran. It was an arrangement between two families where no questions are asked, or consent is sought. At that time, I did not understand what marriage is all about. However, I asked myself if it was important for the two f us to get married. The milieu I was born into doesn’t allow me to ask disquieting questions. If you were to ask me, I would say, I wouldn’t marry anyone.

My dream to lead a purposeful life reciting poetry, reading novels, acting in dramas and pursuing my dream to change the world, was obstructed by economic constrains. It led me to take a job at a book stall run by publisher Vani Prakashan at the ground floor of Shri Ram Centre in Mandi House. I joined the publication in 2003 and was in-charge of the shop till 2008, when we were asked to vacate the shop by the management of the Shri Ram Centre for Performing Arts. They were of view that running a book shop comes under commercial activity.

It is important to mention here that Shri Ram Centre for Performing Arts grew out of what was originally known as the Indian National Theatre in 1948. It claims to be devoted to preserve Hindi theatre along with other forms of globally recognised performing arts. However, when it came to my livelihood, they did not pay any heed and I was thrown out of the building. For three years, I attempted to set up shop elsewhere, but it never materialised; I couldn’t find an affordable space. One day, I reassembled all my books and began to sell them on the footpath in front of SRC.

I came back there because I have an emotional attachment to this place. Fifteen years ago, when I came to SRC, it was a completely different place. Since then a lot has changed, but the soul remained intact. It is still peaceful, vibrant, full of socio-political and cultural discourses; Mandi House is referred to as the cultural center of the city. Students from the National School of Drama (NSD), theatre personalities, poets and writers throng Shri Ram Centre every evening. Bhagwan Das road and the surrounding areas come to life in the evening. You can feel the energy of this place in the evening. I had a stomach surgery recently, but that doesn’t stop me from coming here daily from Karawal Nagar, which is 25 kilometers away from Mandi House.

There are days when I do not even earn `100 from selling books, but that does not deter me. My commitment to my life is to leave this world better than it is now. Young boys and girls, who come to study the fundamentals of theatre at NSD or Shri Ram Centre are an integral part of my life. I feel my dreams coming alive when I see these student acting, reciting poetry and debating current topics.

Someday I will not be in this world, but my work would be. My effort to bring changes would be remembered. I firmly believe that any change in this society cannot be brought without cultural revolution. People say I am a book seller, but I define myself as a dream seller.