Rest in Peace ‘Sex the rapist’ or the ‘sex therapist’: you will be missed, sir

Can sex education be compassionate, witty and dignified? Yes, showed Dr Mahinder Watsa, who passed away last week in Mumbai at the age of 96, dispelling apprehension of several generations of Indians. Best known for his daily column ‘Ask the Sexpert’ in Mumbai Mirror, Dr Watsa was a trained Gynaecologist and Obstetrician, who gave up his medical practice to counsel people on sexuality.

He began to write the column at the age of 80 in 2005. Meenal Baghel, the MM editor who persuaded him to write the column, recalled this week that she had to publish Dr Watsa’s photograph to prove he existed! Many readers, she points out, were convinced that the questions he answered were made up by him. And charges of obscenity often landed both editor and columnist in court.

Referring to the overwhelming ignorance among Indians about the most natural, normal and powerful of human urge for sex, she recalled a reader who had used a vacuum cleaner to try and suck out semen after unprotected intercourse with his girlfriend. He was inspired, he said, by the childbirth scene in the film 3 Idiots. The girlfriend tragically died due to internal haemorrhage. The letter never made it to the column.

The tragic story also tells us that even men in cities who know of newspaper columns and who write about their dilemma and anxiety, are as ignorant of sex as less educated men in villages with less exposure and access to counselling.

The witty answers by Dr Watsa were compiled in book form and published in 2015 and will undoubtedly continue to help people in distress. But while Dr Watsa had been able to persuade Family Planning Association of India to start sex counselling, the Government refuses to take sex education in schools seriously. Private schools which have introduced sex education continue to be prudish and end up confusing the students and making some of them feel guilty.

Indians’ ignorance and guilt about masturbation are well known. Generations of Indians have been told that masturbation and loss of semen result in the loss of blood and energy. And when one such Indian wrote to Dr Watsa and anxiously asked if his organ would reduce in size because he was masturbating every day, the expert advice was, “You talk daily but has your tongue become shorter?”

“I have a small penis and I can't seem to satisfy my girlfriend. My astrologer has advised me to pull it every day for 15 minutes while reciting a shloka [prayer]. I have been doing this for a month but it hasn't helped. What should I do?” asked another reader to whom Dr Watsa replied, “If he was right, most men would have a penis hitting their knees. God doesn't help foolish men. Go visit a sexpert instead who can teach you the art of making love.”

In her witty tribute to Dr Watsa, Baghel recalls another letter in which the writer claimed to be happily married but asked if it was safe for him to make love to his goat, Jemila. Dr Watsa advised that while bestiality was illegal in India, he should ask the goat if she would like it.

When he decided to turn into a Sex Therapist at Bandra, Mumbai, Dr Watsa told Baghel, the painter of the signboard had made it ‘Sex the rapist’. Four decades later, credible and compassionate sex therapists are still rare. A fitting tribute to India’s best known sex therapist would be to design a sex education course in schools across the country.

The need was never greater with the Internet providing access to misinformation, instant gratification, Viagra, sex toys, pornography, pills and instant abortion.