2019: the year when comics replaced the mainstream media in India

Three performances on YouTube summarised here for the readers

In 2020, the Government’s agenda includes imposing curbs on social media. It informed the Supreme Court last year that it planned to put in place the regulations by the middle of January. The Government’s anxiety is easily understood because during the last few years, stand up comics replaced the mainstream media in asking questions to the Government and speaking Truth to power.

The YouTube, Facebook live and Twitter have been used by them to comment and to question besides pointing out the absurdities in public life. The following three random examples taken from YouTube, a short and incomplete summary of live performances, provide some inkling to why the Government is so perturbed.

AKASH BANERJEE

Fascism, like cancer, kills slowly

As you all know, Desh badal raha hai. A New ‘fascist’ India is emerging. It doesn’t creep in and strike one day like a heart attack. It seeps in slowly, like cancer. What are the signs? Well, the foremost sign is that your nationalism is put on test. You must prove it all the time by saying, ‘Jai Hind’, ‘Jai Bharat’ or ‘Bharat Mata Ki Jai’. Then fascism involves disdain for Human Rights. Rights are for animals, cows especially. Fascism also promotes an obsession with national security. The nation is always under threat, not just from Pakistan but also from ‘JNU types’, urban naxals, immigrants, the opposition and intellectuals who ask questions. Fascism also removes the distinction between the Church and the State. 80% Hindus in this country, the state tells you, are endangered, khatre me hain. Fascist leaders also hide behind the uniform of the armed forces, which must never be questioned. Fascism uses enemies as a unifying factor and tells us that there are enemies everywhere—you know, the Tukde-Tukde gang, the libtards…

You realise a fascist, authoritarian government has crept when a bankrupt AA becomes A 1 for the Government.

KUNAL KAMRA

Why not Mr Ambani as PM?

Tell me something. Why can’t I vote for Mr Ambani directly? Why do I have to vote for Modi Ji to act as an intermediary? I would like to see Mr Ambani as PM. Mr Ambani has everything, he runs everything. He runs the Metro. He has textile mills, petroleum refineries and Wi-fi, which he has offered free to the country. Imagine. He had to find some job for his son and he rolled out free wi-fi in the country. I think he should be our PM. In one stroke, the days of corrupt politicians would get over. Just think. Who will go to Mr Ambani with a suitcase filled with Rupees four Crore in cash ? Have you seen his house ? He has erected a vertical ‘Vikas’ in Mumbai.

I like the idea of corporate honchos contesting elections. Let Mr Ambani and Mr Ratan Tata fight it out. Mr Tata at least will not visit Uttar Pradesh, look at a room full of people and scream, “Mandir Yahin Banayenge’. He might say, “Nano Plant Yahin Banayenge”, which should be fine with us.

I have no problem with Modi Ji. He has said criticism is the backbone of democracy. I am only scared of his fans and dread at the thought of Modi Ji going to see an international cricket match. For all you know, his fans, like cheerleaders at IPL matches, may shout ‘Modi-Modi’ and force him to bat for India. The ball might hit his pad, the fielder would then take the ball to the boundary, the umpire might declare it a ‘six’ and commentators might say he had scored a century. And above all, some TV anchor might ask in the evening, “Why is JNU silent tonight”?

VARUN GROVER

Dance of democracy vs ‘nanga naach’

International media go into a tizzy when elections are held in India. Democracy at work, they say. So cute, the poor people electing their leaders. It is the dance of democracy, say the sophisticated. It is actually a shameless dance by the naked (nanga naach), if you ask me. This time I also noticed a marked difference between the campaign of Gobhi Ji in 2014 and his campaign in 2019. It was then a cute campaign with a cute picture of his making cute promises (Mandir wahin laaye, laaye/15 lakh aye aye/ Article 370 jaaye jaaye/ Aur sabse badi gaaye gaaye…). I must confess he has created the promised 20 million jobs every year. They have all become Gau Rakshaks or are frying pakodas. I also received 15 lakh—well, not rupees but abuses from Gobhi fans. But this time the slogan changed. Aur option hi kya hai, mitron, people were asked.

Gobhi Ji had to fall back on a biopic in which Vivek Oberai plays him. Luckily for him, the Election Commission watched the film and stopped its release, saying that he would lose the election if people watched it.