'I should not ask random questions, no?' Conversation with an autistic person

Disability is a no-man’s land. Mainstream medicine, by  its very nature, is focused on the ‘treatable’ and the  ‘curable’. Chronic illnesses, pain and disabilities are  often impossible to ‘treat’ or ‘fix’. Poorly understood  and poorly researched, these bodily experiences become nobody’s babies and tend to be locked away in  tiny silos such as ‘special school’ and the private space  of the home. […] But the good news is that the work of creating the vocabulary to describe and enhance the understanding of this experience is happening. Much of this vocabulary is being developed by people with  disabilities or by people closely associated with them. […] What are the understandings, [what is] the language that comes from that space? What does it mean to live as a person with disabilities in a world that is overwhelmingly ableist?

I should not ask random questions, no?

A conversation with Gayathri

I found twenty-six-year-old Gayathri, who is on the autism spectrum, to be responsive, eager to be heard, to understand and to be understood. She is a volunteer at the Lotus Foundation. The founder/director of the Lotus Foundation, Nandini Santhanam, was present right through and helped facilitate my interaction. This conversation has been transcribed more or less verbatim.

Srilata: When did you first join Lotus? Tell me how and when this happened?

Gayathri: 2016.

Srilata: How old are you now?

Gayathri: Twenty-six. Married.

Srilata: And what does your husband do?

Gayathri: Manager, HR… Cognizant.

Srilata: And you are volunteering right now at Lotus Foundation.

Gayathri: Yes. Helping out. Like it.

Srilata: What do you like about being here? [Nandini] was telling me that you worked for a short while in a company?

Gayathri: Internship.

Srilata: So you left the company and decided to volunteer here. What was it like for you when you were working for that company? Why did you leave?

Gayathri: Because it was too far away.

Srilata: Tell me about the work you do at Lotus?

Gayathri: Gardening. Do you speak Tamil? I speak Tamil and English.

Srilata: That’s great!

Gayathri: I know Hindi. I like Hindi.

Srilata: Do you teach the others at Lotus?

Gayathri: I teach. Yes.

Srilata: Does that make you feel satisfied?

Gayathri: Satisfied.

Srilata: Tell me about your family.

Gayathri: Mother-in-law, father-in law, dogs.

Srilata: Are you fond of them? Are they fond of you?

Gayathri: Fond. Fond of them

Srilata: When you go home in the evenings, what do you do?

Gayathri: Sleep.

Srilata: How about dinner? Do you cook?

Gayathri: Night. We cook in the night. 7.30.

Srilata: What do you like to cook?

Gayathri: Chapathi, paneer.

Nandini: Don’t you go to music class, Gayathri? What sort of music do you learn?

Gayathri: Carnatic music

Nandini: You also teach Hindi to a child, right? You take tuitions in the evening, don’t you?

Gayathri: I take Hindi class.

Srilata: Which school did you go to?

Gayathri: Chettinad Vidyashram, at first. From 7th—Kumararani—till 12th.

Srilata: Did you like being in school?

Gayathri: I liked being in school.

Srilata: Both schools?

Gayathri: Kumararani is state board. I didn’t like CBSE.

Srilata: Did you have friends?

Gayathri: Lot of friends at Kumararani.

Srilata: What is your favourite subject?

Gayathri: Commerce. Commerce and computer science

Srilata: Do you have friends at Lotus?

Gayathri: Subashree. She hasn’t come today.

Nandini: Subashree is one of our children. She has come back to work with us.

Srilata: Do you watch films?

Gayathri: Tamil movies.

Srilata: Which activity do you like the most at Lotus?

Gayathri: Hindi class.

Srilata: Where did you learn Hindi?

Gayatri: When I was in school.

Srilata: Was it your second language?

Gayathri: Third language.

Nandini: Tell her about gardening, nature walk.

Gayathri: Gardening, nature walk.

Nandini: She likes painting, cooking.

Gayathri: Baking cake!

Nandini: Tell her about weaving.

Gayathri: Weaving.

Srilata: Where do you go for weaving?

Gayathri: WeCan [a centre for autistic children in Chennai] Nelangarai.

Srilata: What kind of weaving do you do?

Gayathri: I have woven a lot.

Srilata: Why do you like weaving?

Gayathri: Pattern weaving.

Srilata: What kind of plants do you like to grow in the garden?

Gayathri: Tomato plant, spinach.

Srilata: Is it a vegetable garden?

Gayathri: Vegetable garden.

Srilata: You said you like to bake. Will you bake a cake for me sometime?

Gayathri: I will bake one for you sometime.

Nandini: Ask her where she works.

Srilata: I work at IIT. I am a teacher.

Nandini: Do you want to ask her anything?

Gayathri: Are you married?

Srilata: Yes, I am. I have two children. They are grown up now. My son is in college, my daughter is in high school. She likes music. Do you like music?

Gayathri: I like music….

Gayathri (to Nandini): I should not ask random questions, no?

Nandini: Yes, to you it may be meaningful. But to the person you are asking it may not be so.

Gayathri: Wearing yellow today. Day before was my birthday.

Srilata: Belated birthday wishes, Gayathri! And thank you for agreeing to this interview.