‘Khaali Peeli’: Watch redundant Saas-Bahu show instead

Khaali Peeli  is a cringe-fest, an orgy of unskilled writing and clumsy direction where even an actor like Jaideep Ahlawat, playing the kind of pimp and child abuser no self respecting actor would want to get into, is at a loss for words and where child abuse  and paedophilia are considered fodder for potboiler-drama, the kind that Guddu Dhanoa  and Harmesh Malhotra used to specialize in back in the1980s.

With due respects, Dhanoa and Malhotra came up with more enjoyable potboilers in their worst moments.  Khaali Peeli is our worst nightmare version of a 1980s’ potboiler with two child actors rolling their eyes and making faces until they grow up.

And what do you know! They are still rolling their eyes and making faces. Ishan Khatter and Ananya Pandey  share as much chemistry as two volunteers at an earthquake sight from Syria and Spain. Their Bambaiyya sounds as authentic as Zeenat Aman’s Awadhi in Satyam Shivum Sunderam.

In defence of Ananya Pandey’s  extremely annoying performance, all we can say is  , given the  writing and  the eeew-man  resources even Meryl Streep couldn’t have done  better, though I’m sure Meryl’s Bambaiyya accent would have been more authentic .

An authentic accent is the least of the problems in  Khaali Peeli. Absurdities abound from the start when Ishaan Khatter emerges from central jail in a brand new baniyan(vest) with  the background music hammering our heads with  the beats  of  a  street side bravado.

Very soon Blackie (yes that’s our hero’s name) is seen racing away with Pooja in a  black-and-yellow taxis which has seen better days.

So has the Commercial Potboiler. Caught between a wink and sneer the  mood of the  narrative is as vague and distant as the  plot’s allegiance to films like Nasir Hussain’s Caravan  about a runaway heroine and her saviour. Nothing really works in this  film. Not the formula and certainly not the wink at the formula.

Then we have Swanand Kirkire staring  at a 9-year old girl with lustful intentions. Paedophilia in a potboiler must be someone’s idea of entertainment. It takes all sorts. Don’t waste time watching this vada pao gone stale.