Bollywood introduces Intimacy Supervisors!

Let’s face it. Despite yelling about Bollywood being a global brand, [never mind its zilch no-shows at every major reputed international film fest!], its lifting/adapting stories, scenes, themes, subjects continues full-on. Not satisfied by its single-minded pursuit of being inspired by material, now comes the latest copycat move: Intimacy Supervisor! Apparently [veteran] starlet Celina Jaitley [don’t you dare say: Celina who?] seeking a comeback [stop laughing, guys!] in a film called Seasons Greetings directed by Kolkata guy, Ram Kamal Mukherjee, read about it somewhere, called up the director and discussed the possibilities of introducing this new member of the crew. Reason? Post marriage and motherhood, Jaitley was a trifle uncomfortable cosying up to the intimate love scenes with debutante leading man, Azhar Khan. Mukherjee heard her out, agreed and inducted Manisha Basu as IS into the group – to monitor the comfort zone & ensure the this-far-and-no-further moves! It is reported that while this love scene was being shot in a South Kolkata Penthouse, it was a closed set with only the cinematographer and an all women crew present. “I sat near the monitor and interacted with the actors over the phone” said the politically correct director. Whether or not this move will set a precedent or dampen the sizzle or hormonal rush of our voyeuristic [gasp! pant!] audience and impact the scene & potential box office prospects remains to be seen, but the larger issue is: Will garma-garam scenes – so critical in Bollywood movies – from now, be under the scanner, under hawk-eyed Intimacy Supervisors waiting to yell HALT every time any move crosses the line? To evolved and learned students of Hollywood history, this move, Bollywood’s version of the dreaded [1920] Hollywood’s Hay Commission – a powerful group of big-shot producers who subscribed to the ethic “that women are either Madonna or whores, a mother-to-be revered while she stirs the chicken soup, but discarded if she succumbed to unsanctified libido!”

Actually, it’s a tough one to crack because neither moral nor value judgements can really work. The crazily puritanical, regressive diktats of the archival Hay’s Commission indeed troubled most but smart guys like Cecil B Demille, regularly broke it by making Biblical movies, where scanty clothes were the order of the day, for authenticity! However, eminent Intimacy Director Michelle Barnette believes that simulating a love scene can and does happen but not always. In a superbly revealing article entitled ‘How Do You Direct Sex Scenes in the Age of Me Too’, she cites the example of actress Maria Schneider’s allegation during the shooting of the famous Bertolucci-Brando film [1973] Last Tango in Paris. The actress [before passing away] confessed she was taken by horrific surprise at the unscripted sodomy scene where the director and the star used a stick of butter – without her knowledge or consent – because they wanted the 19 year old’s reaction “as a girl not an actress!” Shocking and exploitative as it was, the poor girl had little choice in the matter against biggies like Brando & Bertolucci. Over time, many actresses have found themselves in uncomfortable situations and this provided Intimacy Director Specialists like Barnette to believe ‘’that an actor works better when focused and in delicate, intimate moments need not worry about unexpected-unwelcome-surprises, from over-enthusiastic co-stars.”

Cut to the Bollywood context. Will Jaitley’s move to induct an Intimacy Supervisor clause have any takers, or will it be one-off example of an actress paranoid about being touched inappropriately by co-actors?

Eminent Film Critic Saibal Chatterjee is first off the block. He believes that this is an extension of the Me Too movement and in principle, a sane move to guard against unwelcome overtures in the LOC. “However, witnessing the Bollywood scene for over 3 decades, I don’t think it’s going to catch fire. Love scenes – intimate or otherwise – are a critical part of the Bollywood template and in recent times, the new kids appear to be super cool about exposing, kissing … the works! With exceptions, it seems to be totally consensual. “The other interesting point Chatterjee raises is – what are the qualifications and background of these Intimacy Supervisors? How is she/he the ideal person to judge? What are the ground rules? If this move does get popular – it’s totally new in the industry – will there be classes to teach aspirants to qualify in this specialised line of work defining how-far-is-too-far? Overall, he thinks “it’s a fad and unlikely to work in such a huge industry where tons of films across diverse genres, helmed by all types of people, are made every day.” Delhi-based college student Alka Kapoor thinks it’s a god-send! “What took them so long? This Maya Nagri is matchless in seducing all and sundry [especially young, pretty, naïve, vulnerable and desperate girls] frequently prepared to [or forced to?] go the distance in achieving stardom. More than other industries because of the glamour, money, gloss, glitz and mass appeal, it’s a mesmeric, magnetic draw. Compromise is the worst kept secret and for starry-eyed aspirants, it is a fatal attraction. This Intimacy Supervisor can ensure that they are not exploited and humiliated. Here’s hoping it really works and puts the creeps & leches on total hold!” Actor Kabir Bedi agrees. “There has been a line drawn by the Me Too movement, which I totally endorse. This new thrust is an extension which categorically sends a simple, clear and strong message: Watch it buddy. Don’t let your hands go for a walk to No-Man’s land. Big Sis is watching. You will be in serious trouble!”

Actor Adil Hussain comes to the party to wrap-up the debate. As always, his is a unique and insightful POV. “I think the intro of an Intimacy Supervisor is a brilliant and long-overdue in Bollywood, because it could invest these love scenes – mostly sloppily, shabbily, even vulgarly conceptualised and executed – with sensitivity. A good Intimacy Supervisor needs to understand the nature of the intimate scene along with the personal background of the artistes involved: Are they married? Have boyfriends/girl friends? Levels of comfort in playing out the scene, inhibition meter etc? Once this is clear, there will be real chemistry that will come through. Finally, it should be seen as art and not a sizzling, titillating dekko to motivate ceeties & taalis. If this is recognised and understood by the Intimacy Supervisor, we are on a great new chapter in the viewing of a love scene in Bollywood movies.”

We say amen to that.