Of heroes and zeros!

I know by heart how many zeros are there in a trillion. I also know very well the entire sequence of figures. 10 lakh is one million, 1,000 million is one billion, 1,000 billion is one trillion. I got it right! There are 12 zeros in a trillion. Why can't I be made a spokesperson of a political party which lacks such talent?

This is a world of super specialisation. Political parties also need to field 'specialised' spokespersons on TV talk shows. I mean different expert spokespersons for different subject matters like muscular nationalism, muscular economy, muscular science, etc.

If I were to be made a specialist spokesperson for muscular economy, I could convincingly put forward arguments on how India can become a USD 5 trillion economy by 2024 with exact facts, figures and zeros. I would not talk with conjectures and without knowing the scientist who invented the theory of gravity or the number of zeros in a trillion.

For better impact, I can also argue convincingly, of course, with figures and zeros, on how every person investing in the stock market can become a Rakesh Jhunjhunwala or how every textile mill owner can become a Dhirubhai Ambani by 2024.

Alternatively, I may be given a position in any watchdog. I can skilfully add a lot of zeros to an amount of imaginary loss caused to the national exchequer in some or other ‘scam’.

Mega scams can happen only in a mighty country. Larger than life, imaginary loss figures of such mega scams would make all our hearts swell with pride, for having caught hold of the Hollywood robbers.

Last but not the least option…I am a professional optimist. The economy needs eternal optimists like me in key 'Think Tanks'.

I can vehemently defend a tanking economy, of course, with figures of new PF accounts opened in the booming job market or the kilometers of new roads built that spurred the demand for new vehicles. If I fail to convince you, I am also capable of shifting the blame for the rout on to the changing lifestyle of millennials.

Oh yes, one more option occurred to me. I am also a pseudo economist. I can delight the audience with the big picture of how India will become the 5th or 6th largest economy in the world with $3 trillion GDP this year, conveniently ignoring the fact that India is the 146th country in the world in terms of per capita GDP with just $ 2,016 of per capita income.

If none of the above works, I may be accommodated in the IT Cell of any national or nationalist party.

(V Venkateswara Rao is a retired finance professional and a freelance writer)