Reality Bites: Why is deeply superstitious Dear Leader wary of black clothes?

The Prime Village Elder has spoken. He has announced to a stupefied nation that Congress members who recently protested on the streets against price rise and unemployment were practising black magic because they (gasp) wore black clothes.

I would have thought that the only person on Planet Earth with a degree in ‘Entire Political Science’ would know (at the very least) that black is the colour of protest, tut.

His jaw-dropping statement during celebrations of 75 years of freedom only reminds us of the glaring difference between the Prime Village Elder and Jawaharlal Nehru, India’s first prime minister. Nehru had a scientific temper, the Prime Village Elder has a superstitious temper and a very bad temper as well! See how badly he behaves when thwarted.

I cannot help but agree with Congress MP Rahul Gandhi who called him out on it: "Stop lowering the dignity of the prime minister's post and misleading the country by talking about superstitious things like 'black magic' to hide your black deeds, prime minister-ji…You will have to give answers on people's issues."

“If protesting and raising issues of unemployment and price rise is black magic, then we will do it 1,000 times,” Rahul Gandhi added.

Of course, the Prime Village Elder is not going to do a thing about price rise. As long as India’s rapacious industrialists are content, he’s safe. Which reminds me how different India’s industrialists were during the freedom movement. Those industrialists actually supported freedom, while these are delighted to see the marginalised and the poor reduced to carrying begging bowls as they grab their land.

The Prime Village Elder is so tone deaf to the plight of the poor that he’s even forcing them to buy flags for twenty rupees when they collect their ration. A video that went viral showed distraught people saying that they were forced to buy flags. If they had the money to spare, they wouldn’t really need to queue up for mouldy old rations, would they?

I’m glad BJP MP Varun Gandhi shared the video on Twitter and tersely said, "It would be unfortunate if celebrations to mark the 75th anniversary of Independence become a burden for the poor." Perhaps he does have a titchy bit of his great grandfather Nehru’s genes after all.

Needless to say, the quality of the flags was as bad as the quality of the ration. We’ve read reports from different parts of the country that a majority of the flags that arrived from vendors in Gujarat (the Prime Village Elder’s home state) are tattered and defective: “The saffron, white and green stripes are not in equal proportion, size does not conform to the 3:2 ratio and the Ashok Chakra is not in the right place.” As defective as the ventilators during the Covid wave that came from (surprise, surprise) Gujarat too!

Shouldn’t the Prime Village Elder concentrate on quality instead of profits—how many more examples of shoddiness from his buddies is he going to thrust on the nation? Must we pay with our lives for their mistakes?

His utter disregard for the flag tells us one thing clearly. Like his mummy-daddy organisation, he doesn’t really care about celebrating India’s freedom, all he wants is a mega event on par with banging thaalis to ward off Covid (see, he was always superstitious!).

I’m going off social media and television on the 15th of August this year to avoid videos of Bollywood stars, news anchors, editors, and other apple polishers playing childish games to please him. Sometimes it looks like they’re trying to drown the Prime Village Elder in butter sauce, and it only makes me despise them more.

I still cannot get that disgraceful picture of the editor of a national daily banging thaalis out of my head. She had lined up her house-help for the charade too! Incidentally, that’s when I stopped my subscription to her publication.

Do remember this: If the Prime Village Elder truly believed in freedom he wouldn’t keep crushing our voices and arresting us. Nor would he set the ED, CBI, and other allegedly independent agencies on his political rivals. Watch the fun in Bihar as he tries to teach the JD(U) a lesson for dumping him!

(Any resemblance to real people or events is a coincidence)