Satire

Reality Bites: Meet New India’s 'sanskaari' rapists

If you’re raped, robbed or tortured by a Brahmin, consider yourself blessed

In his I-Day speech, PM Modi said respect for women is an important pillar for India's growth.
In his I-Day speech, PM Modi said respect for women is an important pillar for India's growth. 

I don’t watch the Dear Leader’s speeches because I’ve noticed how mainstream media’s political analysts get so dazzled by his clothes that they completely forget to question his claims. I have to admit that the hideous monogrammed suit he wore when he welcomed former US President Obama had distracted me too.

I skim through snippets of his extravagant lies on social media instead, and when I saw his Independence Day speech I shuddered as violently as my ancient washing machine on a spin cycle.

Like most sensible Indians, I’m aware that the Dear Leader always does the opposite of what he says. And so his grand declaration of Nari Shakti naturally led to the release of 11 convicted rapists and murderers in the gruesome Bilkis Bano case.

A brief recap: During the Gujarat “riots” in 2002, a pregnant Bilkis Bano was gang-raped, and many of her family members (including her 3-year-old daughter) were killed. It’s hard to find forgiveness for these psychos, but the RSS-BJP is full of the milk of human kindness when it comes to its own people.

So, to celebrate ‘Azadi Ka Amrit Mahotsav’, they decided to set these psychopaths free—Indians were made to fly the national flag in their homes for this, ugh.

According to a report by scroll.in, “All ten members of the jail advisory committee were government appointees. Five of them are office bearers in the Bharatiya Janata Party. Two of them are currently MLAs.” They rejected the trial court’s opinion and granted these psychos remission.

In his defence, a BJP MLA who was part of the committee said that these psychos are “Brahmins" and “are known to have good sanskaar".

Pay attention, because this could well be a message from the Dear Leader’s government: If you’re being murdered, raped, robbed or tortured, do find out the caste of the perpetrator. If he/she is a Brahmin, you should feel blessed.

If the release of these murderers and rapists will help the Dear Leader’s party win the upcoming elections in Gujarat (which, evidently, is the ploy), then I have nothing to say apart from “Pass me the barf bag!”

What exactly has Smriti Irani, the Union Minister of Women and Child Development, said about this? I’ve checked her Twitter timeline since the release of these psychos, and all I have seen are retweets of the Dear Leader’s comments (in case he checks her Twitter account and gives her marks for loyalty), birthday wishes to the Finance Minister, and other garbage—but not a gasp of outrage about sending convicted rapists and murderers back into society.

Compare this to Irani’s banshee-like wails when shocking reports about her (allegedly) family-owned restaurant, Silly Souls Cafe and Bar, in Goa surfaced. The only woman this Silly Soul cares about is herself, and the only children she cares about are her own.

Doesn’t India deserve a Women and Child Development minister with a moral compass at the very least?

While I’m relieved that parties like the Congress and CPI(M) have condemned this move, I’m horrified that the only female chief minister in India, Mamata Banerjee, has also not uttered a word on the subject.

I know she’s inching closer and closer to the BJP, and while her words about them may be scathing, her actions prove otherwise. Not a squeak out of Arvind Kejriwal either—odd, because before he became Delhi’s chief minister, he put up a great show about caring about rape victims/survivors.

***

Fortunately, there is one politician who has cheered me up during these days of gloom and doom. Tamil Nadu Finance Minister Palanivel Thiaga Rajan made a fiery statement in a TV debate over the Dear Leader’s hypocritical attack on freebie culture.

He said, “Either you must have a constitutional basis to say what you are saying, in which case we all listen, or you must have special expertise, you must have a double PhD in Economics, or you must have a Nobel Prize or something that tells us you know better than us.

“Or, you must have a performance track record that you have grown the economy wonderfully or you brought down debt, increased the per capita income or created jobs…When neither is true, why we should listen to somebody’s view?”

My salaams to PTR and all those who expose the Dear Leader’s gibberish.

(Any resemblance to real people or events is a coincidence)

Published: 21 Aug 2022, 12:01 PM IST

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Published: 21 Aug 2022, 12:01 PM IST