Reality Bites: Diyar Leader’s chutzpah at G-7 & Operation Louts

Searching for an honest BJP member is like looking for a needle in a haystack. They are compulsive liars, and this sickness is apparent from the top to the bottom. Why, only recently at the G-7 meet in Germany, the Diyar Leader brazenly signed the G-7’s democracy and freedom of expression statement, while his henchmen in India were busy arresting internationally respected activists and fact checkers.

The Diyar Leader was hoping that even if international human rights organisations noticed his hypocrisy, no one at the G-7 would confront him about it—people are ridiculously polite at these events, and gamely grit their teeth during his unsolicited hugging and hand-holding attempts (the only exception was UN Secretary-General António Guterres who looked appalled at being badly mauled by the Diyar Leader).

Anyway, India was only on the side-lines of the G-7 meet, but how we gasped when the Diyar Leader was literally side-lined. We saw video footage of him scurrying for the best camera spot at the centre of the G-7 group photograph, but he was marched over to the extreme end and served as a sorry little bookend. Many publications even cut him out, tut.

Just as well the event was held abroad or his main henchman may have done something terrible to the person who organised the group photograph placements.

But back to the BJP’s penchant for lies. In my entire life I have only spotted one BJP person, a humble party worker in Delhi, who believes that honesty is the best policy. When he was asked to get posters made for some election or the other, he got terrific ones printed that said, “Vote for Louts” above a picture of the Lotus logo.

I want to hug that honest man in the same clingy, never-let-me-go manner that the Diyar Leader hugs world leaders! This brings me to the BJP’s well-known operation to annexe states that have voted them out: Operation Lotus, better known as Operation Louts.

We have seen Operation Louts at work in several non-BJP states, the most staggering being Karnataka and Madhya Pradesh. Maharashtra was recently annexed, and Operation Louts played out in its usual loutish manner. Rebel Shiv Sena members were wined and dined in a Gujarat hotel, and rumour has it that they were flown to Assam because the alcohol dried up in the dry state.

Spirits flowed as generously as Assam’s floods, and ‘Wish you were here, hic hic hooray’ postcards were sent by the rebels to other Shiv Sena members in Maharashtra to join them. Many did, because only very, very strong people can resist the temptation of happy hours.

Also, dancing like rejected extras in Mira Nair’s ‘Monsoon Wedding’ can be a lot of fun. The BJP’s objective was to ensure that the brains of their captives were too pickled to think clearly. Too bad about their livers but hey, that’s just collateral damage, and besides their main objective is to completely destroy the Shiv Sena.

Eknath Shinde, the man who is the new chief minister of Maharashtra thanks to Operation Louts, was even caught lurching and slurring on camera, gasp. Many news channels aired that footage, and the proof (100% proof) is already out there.

So what happens now—will the BJP continue to ply Shinde with mind-altering substances, or does it even matter now that the remote control is firmly in its hands? Once Shinde’s captive rebels are brought back to Maharashtra and their hangovers subside, will they clutch their heads and groan, “What the heck did we do while under the influence?” and beg Uddhav Thackeray’s forgiveness or will they stick to Shinde like limpets?

To me, the most interesting thing about Operation Louts in Maharashtra is former CM Devendra Fadnavis’s cruel downgrade to Deputy CM. His wife who loves being in the limelight, lording it over people, and singing non-stop like Maria in ‘The Sound of Music’, must be hopping mad. Her temple visit in London did not help her husband become CM again—which actually means that there is a God!

She so wanted to be Maharashtra’s First Lady again—but Faddy’s Daddy did not let it happen. Here I must concede that the Diyar Leader thinks of everything: While humiliating the Thackeray family, he succeeded in humiliating a potential rival to his throne in Delhi too.

(Any resemblance to real people or events is a coincidence)