London Diary: Salman Rushdie and male entitlement, Brits’ changing morality and US’s failing wit

#MeToo and Salman Rushdie

Salman Rushdie can be accused of many things but not of shying away from courting controversy and offending people. His targets range from legions of fellow Muslims and London’s “bitchy” literary elite to sharp-elbowed feminists. And now, he has taken on the male brotherhood for “bleating” on about the damaging effect of #MeToo on their lives.

He has asked men to shut up, take it on the chin and move on. “All this bleating about how hard it is for men, I don’t have time for. It’s much more difficult to be a woman,” he said. “The patriarchy is alive and well.”

Flaunting his own feminist credentials, Rushdie boasted how he always created strong female characters. “Sometimes they’re horrible, sometimes they’re almost monstrous. They’re not feeble. Sometimes they tear people’s heads off. Looking back at my books, a lot of my favourite characters have been female.”

But his attitude towards women in real life has often bordered on male entitlement? Remember his denunciation of Padma Lakshmi as a “bad investment” after she rejected his sexual advances? Or his desertion of his first wife, the literary agent Clarissa Luard who he left for Australian writer Robyn Davidson? Or American novelist Marianne Wiggins’s unflattering account of her life with him?

And what Elizabeth West, the mother of his second son Milan, said after he left her for a much younger Lakshmi? “You saw an illusion and you destroyed your family for it,” West had told him. A bit rich of him now to lecture other men on patriarchy and misogyny.

Khan Vs Javid

All good things must come to an end as the London Mayor Sadiq Khan is discovering as the novelty of being the first Asian and Muslim boss of a major western capital starts to wear off. Even as he is struggling to contain Londoners’ growing disenchantment with his performance in the face of rising street crime and failing public services, his popularity even among fellow Asians has taken a hit.

Last week, he was toppled from his perch on the list of Britain’s most influential Asians. And, to add insult to injury, he was ousted by none other than his fellow Pakistani-political rival Sajid Javid, Britain’s first Asian— and Muslim —Home Secretary.

He moved up from number two slot on the 101-strong Power List of Asian High Achievers to take Khan’s place who was voted No 2. Confirming Javid’s status as the new golden boy of Asian/Muslim extraction, Shailesh Solanki of the Asian Media & Marketing Group, which publishes the annual list, said: “As the first ethnic minority to be home secretary, that, we believe, is another glass ceiling smashed.” And then he offered this consolation to Khan’s followers: “He is still Mayor of London.

That is a significant role.” Brits’ changing morality How times have changed. Once the ultimate test of honesty in Britain was what would you do if you found a wallet stuffed with money. Would you pocket it after making sure nobody noticed? Or hand it in at the nearest police station? A few years ago, the BBC filmed people’s reactions in such situations and found that most people hesitated to take what was not lawfully theirs. But the new line is: “Finders can keep it,” as The Times put it.

With street crime rising and funding in decline, police in England and Wales have decided to shut many lost property offices to save money. The move is expected to save them an estimated £1.5 million a year. “At a time of increasing serious violent crime, an unprecedented terrorism threat, as well as increasingly complex demand, the police are focusing our resources on the areas of highest concern to ensure that we continue to keep the public safe,” a spokesman for the National Police Chiefs’ Council said.

So, the good news is that next time you find something, you can keep it without any qualm of conscience. But the bad news, of course, is that if you lose something, don’t expect someone to return it!

Putin stumps Bolton

Donald Trump’s abrasive National Security Adviser John Bolton had a rare failure of his famous wit during a meeting with the Russian President Vladimir Putin in Moscow last week in the wake of America’s decision to pull out of a crucial arms control treaty accusing Russia of breaching it. During the meeting, Putin reportedly asked Bolton: “As far as I can remember, the US seal depicts an eagle on one side holding 13 arrows and on the other side an olive branch with 13 olives.

Here’s the question: Did your eagle already eat all the olives and only the arrows are left?” Mr Bolton was left struggling for words —only managing to mumble: “Hopefully I’ll have some answers for you. But I didn’t bring any more olives.” There’s a word for it, Mr Bolton: gibberish.

And, lastly, in the wake of #MeToo, hugging as a form of greeting has been banned in many offices in Britain and America. And male workers are being encouraged to desist from shaking hands with women. A “hand wave” will do, thank you.