An act of God? Why is God so unhappy with the Government?

The Union Finance Minister Nirmala Sitharaman has put down the collapse of the Indian economy to an “act of God”. That a member of a political party based on the spread of religious majoritarianism should consider Divine Force responsible for a global pandemic and its resultant disastrous aftereffects, may lead one to ask whether the devotion of her party has been all that pure after all.

In the past six years, the greatest “achievement” of the Narendra Modi-led government has been to start work on a temple. A temple which will stand on the site of the criminal demolition of a mosque. And on a consequent viciously crafted rise of social hatred against Muslims. All this, after a long yatra to power, with death and destruction in its wake. May one dare to suggest that perhaps, well, maybe, someone up there is not so happy?

But what do I know?

From the time COVID-19 hit India, we have heard any number of faith-based cures for the virus from BJP ministers and members. Sunshine, consumption of cow excreta, various indigenous herbs, sitting naked in the mud and chanting, banging pots and pans… the list is endless.

Almost none of the poor BJP ministers and politicians who sadly contracted the virus ever followed any one of these so-called cures which they wanted to inflict on the general population. Quite intelligently, they all went off to various hospitals.

Let’s get back to the after-effects of this divine wrath, for what else could a true believer call it? The Indian economy has already on a downward slide, ever since the greatest PM ever announced his demonic demonetisation scheme in November 2016. Now the world’s economy has caught up with us. Our own local problems are our own of course. Not least the bungled, ill-thought-out and badly implemented Goods and Service Tax regime.

The effects of the virus apart, the states have not received their GST dues and now have been told they will not receive them. They must borrow to make up the shortfall. This effectively means that the entire reasoning behind replacing other taxation systems with GST has been turned on its head. God has a lot to answer for, by inflicting this on us.

Luckily for the “Fin Min”, racing to the rescue of his colleague who is under God’s angry eye, is Union Railway Minister, Union Footwear Minister and part-time Commerce and Weird Idea Minister Piyush Goyal.

Never short on extreme cleverness, Goyal has a novel scheme to increase India’s exports and therefore presumably up our economic prospects. It’s a ₹7500 crore export scheme using the famous Kolhapuri slippers. Five-star hotels will be persuaded to carry these handcrafted leather slippers in their rooms and guests can buy them if they like them.

Ignore the propensity of hotel guests to steal from their rooms for now. Instead, ponder on this problem. Ever since the Modi government first came to power at the Centre in 2014, it and its party have carried out a sustained and bloody “cow-protection” campaign. By banning cow slaughter and lynching anyone transporting cattle, particularly Muslims and Dalits, the Centre and BJP in effect have finished India’s large and thriving (and export rich) leather and tanning industries. As people pointed out on Twitter, Kolhapur’s leather industry has suffered a 50 to 60 per cent fall in production. You can work out the downward spiral on costs and livelihoods from those figures.

What exactly then does Goyal mean? Given the high religious nature of his party and his government, given that cow protection was an integral part of their whole plan to make India into a Hindu majoritarian state, has the cow now been exiled from political favour, to the unloved and ignored category? (You know, like all the sad cows wandering the country eating garbage.) Will this idea further enrage God or will hotel guests the world over now be blessed with free Kolhapuri chappals while managements tear their hair out and weep over their already plummeting profits?

Of course, it is possible that God has no role to play in the Union Finance Minister’s mind. It is entirely likely that the Modi government sees itself as a shady insurance company which refuses to shell out what it owes you and blames God…

Farce Majeure as a friend put it!

(Force Majeure is a legal term which means unforeseen circumstances that prevent someone from fulfilling a contract)

The author is a commentator based in Dehradun. Views are personal.