Advantages of high petrol, diesel prices: Fewer tractors will attend farmers’ rallies

An optimist by definition is someone who feels fine with his head in the frying pan and legs in a refrigerator. Let me confess I am a hardcore optimist and hardcore optimists celebrate their misery and not brood over real pain.

It has now become fashionable for social media warriors to find fault with the govt for indiscriminate and frequent hike in fuel prices. Gone are the days when petrol prices used to compete with the then Prime Minister’s age. Now they compete with cricketers scoring a century or more.

My only worry is we are yet to overtake Pakistan. As on Sunday, February 21, petrol price in Pakistan is 111 (PKR). We are still behind Pakistan but given our pace, Insha Allah (God willing) we will shortly leave Pakistan way behind.

I find nothing wrong in blaming Nehru for not doing enough to promote cow dung/urine as a source of energy despite there being enough availability of cow dung in the country. People say that the govt should ‘arrest’ rising fuel prices. The Sarkar is being damned for arresting Disha (direction) and also damned for not arresting the Raftar (speed) of petrol prices. How fair is that?

Yes, the Government could disband the Ujjawala Yojana and in its place promote cow dung cakes for cooking. Unlike LPG cooked food, the food cooked on cow dung cakes would be healthier, nutritious and undoubtedly more delicious. That way we can reduce our dependence on petroleum imported mostly from countries that are neither democratic nor secular or even pseudo secular for that matter.

There are several reasons for supporting high fuel prices.

First of all, high petrol and diesel prices will mean fewer protestors would join tractor rallies of farmers. Second advantage is the certain decline in the number of accidents. With fewer vehicles on the roads, the chances of accidents would be that much less. It would also mean fewer patients at trauma centres and less pollution. Stubble burning can be permitted to compensate the loss on the pollution front thereby meeting one of the demands of the farmers.

People will move out of home only in case of extreme emergency and as such family ties under stress by family members spending too much time outside, will now be restored and strengthened. It will also ensure the retention of the joint family system.

We will be needing more cycles and animal carts, thereby creating new job opportunities. The number of abandoned animals will dramatically come down and slaughter houses will wear a deserted look as even frail animals will find gainful employment. Crops routinely destroyed by stray animals too would get automatic protection.

After demonetisation, black money has ceased to exist. Had black money been there, we would have found how high petrol prices eradicate black money too.

I can only assure you that I can cite many more advantages of high fuel prices. That way I hope to be made the spokesman of the ruling party without making any ONGC Director lose his primetime job. New ideas are always welcome. Three cheers for sky rocketing petrol prices.

(Views expressed are author’s own)