7 tips to defuse family conflict during COVID-19  

Despite the country being in Unlock 3.0, social distancing norms, lockdown imposed protocols and home sheltering have awkwardly exacerbated the freedom, routine and responsibilities within households of many estranged family members.

Owing to an alarming surge in COVID-19 cases, there are still millions of families and households around India who are struggling with these worries, stressors and uncertainties. Frequent, hostile conflict, along with increased uncertainty and financial burden has lowered the window of tolerance within families.

Many spouses are bickering as old wounds haunt more and children are struggling with behaviour typified by belittlement, domination, lies and control. They are propelled to experience dysfunctional and strained family interactions, day in and day out, without the solace of distraction and lack of distance for relaxation.

Where once many of us could walk away from household tension, we are now obliged to stay within the same walls. Emotions are running high, arguments are exploding and the confusion continues with each other's flaws, which leads to self-destructive and defeating behaviours.

With the ongoing pandemic, heightened anxiety and stress in general means that emotions and anger aren't being processed in the same way because there is a greater degree of variability in how multifaceted energies are interacting and behaving within the homes. These energy interactions form the core of our family dynamics. Each family member has a unique set of energy codings that affects the way each member thinks and relates to oneselves, others and the environment around him or her.

Several factors, including the nature of a parent's relationship, clash of personalities, events (divorce, death, unemployment), culture and ethnicity (including beliefs about gender roles), influence the energy dynamics, due to which we become vulnerable to negative consequences due to emotional energy imbalance within the members at home.

Here are some tips to defuse conflicts and manifest preserve relationships at home.

Conditioning mechanism "Verbal Compassion" - Verbal compassion is a positive verbal energy imbibes the use of words that are warm and those that help nurture and encourage loved ones to do better and be more optimistic when they are with you. Such words help your loved ones to grow and flourish. Verbal Compassion opens up the Heart Chakra or Anahata Chakra and empowers the crown chakra or sahasrara chakra, the seat of Divine Love. Compassion words and gestures offer potent healing and such acts go a long way. It is the absence of cruelty, intentional hurtfulness and ill will that is referred to as loving-compassion.

Zibu symbol for inner peace - Use Zibu symbol for inner peace in different ways to be at peace with the ongoing situation. You can draw it on your body, you can meditate upon it, you can draw it many times on a notepad and focus on it. You can keep it pasted on your wall, you can energiSe your drinking water with the symbol's energy - just get creative on how to use it.

'Listening' to heal - At its root, listening is the act of consciously hearing and attempting to comprehend the problem of another person. Listening is an underrated art, the most beautiful part of it is that it can heal the person whom you are listening to. At times, it's the best gift! The unconditional way of listening to children or spouses raises the energy of empathy which has the power to make them feel about themselves. I consider it a meditative form by which they vent out what's been making them feel awful. It could be anything.

Fettling communication by healing your heart and throat chakra - Chant the mantras 'YAM' and 'HUM' to heal your heart and throat chakra respectively. This will help in dealing with the current situation. You can also use crystals like green aventurine, rose quartz, blue lace agate, lapis to aid healing of these chakras.

Holistic Environment for Communication - Smudge the home with sage or any sacred herb. You can also burn cowdung cakes to purify the energy of your home. Burning Camphor is another great for the same. Keep rock salt in corners of your home and leave it for 2-3 days & then flush it away. Rock salt absorbs negative energy. Crystals are great to raise the energies of your home. You can use black tourmaline or black obsidian to protect your house from all four corners. Hang or put selenite in your home space to invite divine positive energy. Rose quartz and amethyst are great to invite peace and love in the home energy.

Embedding 'ho'oponopono'- A traditional Hawaiian healing method for relationships, forgiveness and love. Family members can also practice this simple yet powerful ritual called Ho'oponopono. One can do this every night before sleeping. Just say this to the divine power - "I am sorry", "Please forgive me", "Thank you", "I love you". And see the magic!

'Apaan Mudra' to remove the toxic energy from the body - both physical and emotional. Ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes in the evening is a good.

Lastly, it is imperative to not feel guilty about the lack of congruence between the expectations of family roles, finding time for oneself and doing things that make us happy; because if we are not at peace inside, everything in our environment will seem to be in a state of catastrophe. And when we have no control over the context, what we can change is only 'ourselves', our 'thoughts' and our 'energy patterns'!

The sooner you de-escalate a fight and work on balancing real energies, the sooner you can begin working on real solutions which involve both engaging family members in the same positive energy system and changing the energy system as per the preference to better accommodate their needs.

The balancing of energy will make you strive and help you to create an environment in which everyone feels safe, heard, loved and respected. Such households are often characterized by low conflict, high levels of support and open communication.