London Diary: West’s moment of shame

"Five hundred and fifty million pounds!"

"Four billion dollars!"

"Nine hundred million Euros!"

Those shouting out these big numbers were not bidding at a high-stakes arts auction, but happened to be leaders of some of the world's richest Western nations --British Prime Minister Boris Johnson, US President Joe Biden, and German Chancellor Angela Merkel--who had gathered via a video conference to announce their contributions to the global vaccine distribution programme, Covax, rattled by the sight of Russia and China, their arch international rivals (and lately India) spreading their influence across large swathes of the developing world using the soft power of vaccine diplomacy even while they were busy feathering their own nests.

With alarm bells starting to ring in Western capitals, French president Emmanuel Macron suggested that Europe and America should each donate at least five per cent of their vaccine stocks to low-income countries. The Times, London, in an editorial headed "Diplomatic Jabs", warned that unless the West stepped up to the plate to help developing countries "China and Russia will win the battle for hearts and minds".

It is this fear --not altruism--that has prompted a flurry of donations. Still, Western countries are sitting on a stockpile enough to innoculate their populations several times over while their 130 developing cousins have not received a single dose.

Apologies, anyone?

Customers, help thyself

Having trouble with that expensive shiny new gadget you just acquired? Well, don’t rush to call customer service because the problem might lie nearer home.

Meet Maggie Cartmell, a housewife, whose new iron came with the instructions: “If you need to refill the tank more than twice during a single ironing session, then some pondering on the life choices you have made that have led to the existential horror of having such a backlog of ironing to do might be in order (our service line cannot help with this).”—A letter in The Times.

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Broke Boris

Believe it or not, but Boris Johnson claims to be so financially broke that he is reported to be "secretly" planning to launch a charity to raise funds to decorate his Downing Street flat that his fiancee' Carrie Symonds finds too dull for her expensive tastes. He has been quoted as saying that there is "no way" he could pay for it after being told by officials that he was entitled to a maximum government contribution of around £30,000.

His claim provoked more amusement than sympathy. A cartoon in The Times featured Johnson, Symonds and their bawling child (all in dirty rags) sitting on the steps of No 10 Downing Street with a placard asking passersby: "Please give generously: Farrow and Ball Paint, Lulu Lytle Interiors to support." Farrow and Ball

Paint and Lulu Lytle Interiors are upmarket paint and interior decorations companies favoured by Symonds.

Johnson is said to want a US -style body which apparently raises millions of dollars for improvements to the White House, including interior design. "The (US) presidential charity is bankrolled by private donors – and the proposed Downing Street version is expected to be funded largely by wealthy Tory benefactors," Daily Mail reported.

But it has prompted accusations of conflict of interest with a former chief of Parliament's Committee on Standards in Public Life, Sir Alistair Graham, calling the move "inappropriate” and “monstrous”.

"I would quite like to set a charity up to refurbish my flat but I don’t think it’s a practical proposition. That’s not what charities are for: to provide enhanced living standards for the prime minister and his wife," he said.

Passion or cruelty?

Brits take pride in being passionate animal lovers and pet-keepers, but some carry it to extremes, blurring the line between love and what animal protection campaigners regard as cruelty.

Campaign group, "Born Free", claims that nearly 4,000 dangerous wild animals are being kept as pets in Britain – 25 in crowded London--mostly in unsuitable conditions amounting to captivity. These include some of the world’s most remarkable animals such as camels, Savannah cats, crocodiles, jaguars, elephants and exotic snakes that can kill.

It has urged the Government to immediately review the Dangerous Wild Animal (DWA) Act, under which people are granted licences to keep certain rare varieties of animals.

"It is unbelievable that, in this day and age, so many dangerous animals are in private ownership in the UK. Increasing demand for all kinds of wild animals as exotic pets puts owners and the wider public at risk of injury or disease," said its head of policy, Mark Jones mocking Britain's "claim to be at the forefront of efforts to protect nature and improve the welfare of animals".

Time to move beyond lip service.

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And, lastly, prompted by growing culture wars, more and more Western publishers are reported to be hiring “sensitivity readers” who pore over manuscripts to spot stuff that someone somewhere might take offence to on grounds of religious, cultural or gender sensitivity.