'More than me, it's Payal Kapadia's win; she truly deserves it,' says Kani Kusruti

How do I feel? Very, very happy.

Of course, it’s Payal’s (Kapadia) win for me, because she truly deserves it.

But, at the same time, there is a certain joy and serendipity inside me that the win is for all the women in India. It’s not only because I have acted in the film, but I feel a certain kind of happiness in that way too.

My parents are happy, but I have not been able to have a long conversation with them. I have not been able to speak to my father even, and I have been able to speak to my mother for, maybe, 2–4 minutes! That’s it!

I had to travel back and resume my shoot. I had no time to respond to everyone in between. Friends and family are waiting patiently to speak to me.

Payal had called me 7–8 years ago to play the part that was played by Diya Prabha, of Anu, in the movie.

At that point, the project kept getting postponed. A year-and-a-half ago Payal called to say that the project was on and the other character was suiting my age now. I auditioned for this part and even Divya auditioned for the same part. But, later Payal asked Divya to do the other part.

They had auditioned several other people too while they auditioned us. Finally, I think they decided to work with us. That’s how we got the movie.

When I had read the script several years ago, it was not the same draft, but a similar story; I had liked it then too. Now, several years later when I read the script and auditioned for it, I immediately connected with the script. I thought it was extremely subtle and poetic and beautiful.

I have been talking to Payal all these years and keeping in touch... I knew I wanted to work with her.

I absolutely do not relate to the character I played!

My character’s name is Prabha and she is a conservative and rigid person. On one hand, I think we should be able to accommodate women like her, and (on the other) personally, I find it very hard to resonate my thoughts with Prabha's.

So, I do not relate to her—but there is an arc to my character that I like.

I think that is one reason I like the character. Though she is conservative and rigid, she goes through a transition and she slowly starts understanding how to be inclusive of other people too.

So, I do like that part of the character.

Working with Payal has been one of the best things that has happened to me.

The amazing thing about Payal is that she is extremely kind and democratic in the way she works with everybody on the set.

That is unique to her, I feel, when I compare her with whoever else I have worked with. She wants to include everyone who is working on the film—she will hear them out, hear their insights, but also stay with the ideas that she has.

She made us feel like this was a collaborative project. There was a sense of camaraderie. We gained a friendship—that’s the best thing, I would say.

When I read Shuchi’s script, I didn’t get it immediately.

When I auditioned, she liked what I had done with it, but I hadn’t really connected with the script.

But then I met Shuchi and spoke to her.

When I met her and when I talked to her, I immediately felt that I want to work with her. And then when she cast my co-actor Preeti (Panigrahi), who won the best actor award at Sundance, I began rehearsing with her, and the story began making sense to me. I immediately knew I had to work with them.

Like Payal, Shuchi is also extremely kind and sweet and soft, but a very different director. They have nothing in common in the way they direct.

Shuchi’s interpretation of certain scenes is completely different sometimes. She is curious and superbly open to different takes.

It was so much fun. Every day, we would discuss something new. It was really amazing.

It wasn’t a conscious choice to work with female directors.

I have worked with a few women directors and it was a pleasure to work with all of them.

All of them have been unique, but very strong directors. All have been very kind and no shouting on the sets. They have been receptive to ideas and extremely amazing.

It was not a conscious choice. It just happened, thankfully, and I have only good memories of working with them.

I am aware of the controversies around the film Biriyaani. Even when I read the script, I also had my own stand against the story.

But, unfortunately, I have not reached a place as an actor where I can choose only to be part of stories that I believe in.

I’m in an extremely 'struggling' phase, where I will have to sometimes compromise on the work even though it is not resonating with my mind.

Biriyaani was shot in 2018, and at that time I had absolutely no support system financially in the industry. In the last 2–3 years, I probably could choose a few projects, which was much more than I could do in previous years. But, I’m still not in a place where I can absolutely choose what I want to do.

So, when Sajin (Baabu, the director of Biriyaani) came with the story, I had many reservations—and not just over the political aspect of it. I had plenty of disagreements and I expressed my point of view about it to Sajin, but he also made a point about it, saying that it is his story to tell and he has a right to say it the way he wants.

He is from a Muslim community and this is how he sees this experience. Even when he gave his opinions, it was not a pleasure to work on a story where it would be interpreted in the way it has turned out now.

I had no choice in terms of being an actor. I wish I could be stronger, to let go of money even when I have no money to survive and am struggling financially. But, I have not reached there yet.

So when people point out that I should accept what I did, I don’t know what to say. I do take responsibility for what I did. But, this is the situation.

In future too, if I am required to and have to work on movies where I may not agree with the script, I may. I may have to end up compromising.

So far, Tara Ramanujan’s Nishiddho has been my favourite in Malayalam. I haven’t done a good job, I feel—I should have worked a bit harder; but it is my favourite amongst the movies that I have done in Malayalam.

I would like to do comedy, whether it is a web series or a film. That is something I am more interested in.

In the Malayalam film industry, the content and the storytelling is far better than in the other industries I have worked in.

But, in terms of professionally how organised we are, Bombay stands out. They are extremely organised and professional. I also hope the Malayalam film industry also reaches there one day, but Malayalam industry also manages in its own way. But, I think we can be more organised and make things seamless. I am comparing with the Bombay film industry.

There’s also how many women are there in the Malayalam film industry — I feel the numbers can go up. There are a lot of women in the crew but the numbers can go up. In Bombay, there are a lot of women on the sets and it feels comforting and nice to see women running sets. That’s another big difference I have noticed.

No, it isn’t a choice. I take most movies that come to me. Mainstream movies and roles haven’t come to me so far.

In the past few years, because I have liked the work in the Malayalam film industry, whenever I see an audition call, I have asked if I can audition too. But nothing has worked out so far.

It isn’t a choice... I would love to be part of mainstream movies. Anything that I audition for and they find me suitable for, I would like to do it!

I would like to do all kinds of roles as long as the story is not, probably, justifying characters that are not so... are out of sync.

For me, personally, I would love to be part of the comedy genre. I really hope I get a chance.

OK Computer, a Hindi web series, is the one time I got a chance to do it and that won an award, which I am proud of. I got a Filmfare award for ‘Best Supporting Actor Female (Comedy)’ and I really was happy to receive it.

I hope to do more of such roles.