Protestors in non-BJP states cooking biryani and singing songs; in BJP-ruled states why are they ‘violent’?

The RSS-BJP government, led by Narendra Modi, is behaving like the creepy stalker in your neighbourhood who refuses to understand that “No means NO!” Indians of all faiths have told the government nicely that they do not want discriminatory laws like CAA and NRC, but nope.

It looks like the Prime Bigot needs to visit an ENT specialist to get rid of all that icky-sticky wax jammed in his ears that prevents him from hearing our anguished voices.

If life was a Tom & Jerry cartoon, Jerry the mouse would stick wicks into each of the predatory cat Tom’s ears and light them. Tom would sizzle for a bit, then dunk his head in a bucket of water, and all would be normal again.

Unfortunately, a tragedy is playing out for the nation, not a giggly comedy. Unused to being thwarted, the Prime Bigot or perhaps his sidekick, the Minister for termites, ordered the police to disrupt protests.

The good old RSS game plan kicked in: you know the one where their own dress up like Muslims, infiltrate the protests and give the green signal for police to storm into university libraries and hospitals, use tear gas, rubber bullets, real bullets and wield their lathis shakha style.

The police went for heads, chests and eyes (all the ‘do not touch’ areas in every democratic nation’s police handbook). They even hurled nasty communal slurs that would make even the RSS chief squirm.

In Delhi University, the RSS-BJP’s bully wing (ABVP) attacked protestors while the police looked on amused. In West Bengal’s Murshidabad BJP workers wearing skull caps and lungis threw stones at a train (they were caught and identified), and in UP’s Gorakhpur, two RSS members were seen among the mob, damaging shops and throwing stones at the police.

Tut, looks like the RSS-BJP secretly admires the Kashmiri stone-pelters they profess to hate. But hey, we always knew that the RSS-BJP is made up of a bunch of extremely bigoted hypocrites. We already have a ‘Prime’ example, don’t we?

As for the Minister for termites, he’s so scary, he even makes Supreme Court judges quake when they receive those infamous sealed envelopes from the government.

It’s important to note that protests have been peaceful and bubbly in non-BJP states. I was there for the one at Mumbai’s August Kranti Maidan, where thousands of people carried cheeky posters, shared laughs, bonded like buddies, and all went home with that fab rock-show buzz. In West Bengal, protestors even made biryani on a highway!

So don’t you find it odd that police violence on protestors has been horrifying in BJP-ruled states and the capital of India? Why, there is even video footage of police pelting stones at protestors at Daryaganj in Delhi, and UP police throwing stones at Muslims praying in Lucknow !

But guess who cried louder than parents of maimed or dead children: the Prime Bigot himself! He went boo hoo because he so hates it when the world reads bad reports about him. He has instructed Indian news channels that covering protests is regarded as “anti-national” and there will be consequences.

His henchmen in news channels got orders to beat their breasts and wail that there was a plot to assassinate him at his Ramlila maidan rally. That old assassination ploy of his worked well in Gujarat, but thankfully, the rest of India is not as gullible. No one sobbed into their hankies, they yawned instead.

But what really gets to me is this: the bully who ordered the police to brutally attack students and other protestors , organised ground-to-air security for himself at Ramlila Maidan.

There were 5000 security personnel on the ground, and no-fly zones above, so I assume even desperate pigeons who answered nature’s call over his head were shot at sight. Oh well—it is a truth universally acknowledged that all bullies are blubbering cowards when it comes to themselves.

The rally turned out to be a spectacular lie fest of course, and at the end of it all he did not smell of roses. Neither did Ramlila maidan, which smelt exactly like a cowshed after all that bullshit. But what else did you expect?